


Shadows

by lanalucy



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Aggression, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Claiming, Come Swallowing, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Dubious Consent, Episode Tag, F/M, Fingerfucking, Guilt, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Innuendo, Intimidation, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Physical Therapy, Season/Series 01, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:01:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanalucy/pseuds/lanalucy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Post-Sacrifice, Pre-Captain's Hand. Kara taking her grief/anger out on Lee. At that point, she'd have a physical advantage. Not letting Dee horn her way in. Reminding him who/what he really wants. Dubcon with Lee the victim and Kara the aggressor.</p><p>Many thanks to newnumbertwo for beta and encouragement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadows

She stood in the shadows, watching as Lee woke up. She noticed he said, “Hi,” in that sleepy-sexy voice before he opened his eyes, and then he looked confused. She was pretty sure she knew why, so she pushed her eighteen levels of guilt way down deep and breezed in as if a visit in sickbay from the person who shot you was perfectly normal. “Hi, Lee,” she said, and bent over to kiss him. He grunted in surprise, and she made a show of it until she felt his hand on her neck. She pulled back, groaning, and said, “Frak, Lee. You should know better than to get in my line of fire.” She put her forehead on his, landed another quick kiss, and said, “I’m so glad my aim was off.”

Dee cleared her throat, and Kara stood, as if she hadn’t seen Dee, “Oh! Sorry about that. It was so nice of you to keep him company until I could finish my After Action Report.”

“Kara,” Lee ground out.

She turned and laid a finger across his lips. “Shh, Lee. It’s okay. It’s just Dee.” She turned back to Dee. “Anyway, thanks again.” Dee looked both irritated and perplexed, and Kara had to work to keep a straight face, but she did, at least until Dee cleared the curtain and exited sickbay. She let herself smile briefly before turning back to Lee.

“What the frak was that about, Kara?”

“That was about getting you better. It’s my fault you’re even in here, Lee, so I’m going to personally see to it that you are back in a Viper in record time.” She bit her lip and continued. “Besides the fact that Dee’s mourning Billy, she’s enlisted and you’re an officer. No point leading her on, getting her all confused.”

“Why shouldn’t she be confused? I sure as hell am.” He was still under the influence of the sedative, so his voice was quiet, but biting.

“Nothing to be confused about, Lee. I got you into this. I’ll get you out.” She walked to the curtain, checking that the night medic was in the office doing paperwork, and strode back to the bed, circling around to the far side. She bent and kissed him again, and when he was sufficiently distracted, she snuck her hand under the sheet. She reached into his hospital pants, into his briefs, and grasped him firmly.

His left hand had been on her shoulder, and his fingers bit in, trying to push her away. He tried to say her name, but she kissed him more aggressively, and tugged on his cock, up, down, up, down, until it was fully hard. It knew what she wanted, and was in perfect agreement with her plan. She let go long enough to lick her palm, and Lee tried to protest while her mouth was otherwise occupied but she stared him down, her left hand over his mouth, then went back to the coordinated effort of her hand and her mouth before he could speak.

It didn’t take long for his brain to shut off and let his body take over. She swallowed a whimper or two from him, then lifted her mouth from his, letting him pant and swear as his cock swelled under her hand. She kept her eyes on his face, refusing to look at the bandage that covered her handiwork. Just before he climaxed, he opened his eyes, “ _Kara_ ,” escaping his lips. She used a nearby towel to clean him off, then tossed it into the laundry bin at the edge of the cubicle.

She waited for him to come down. He’d have questions. She wasn’t going to answer them the way he wanted, but she’d let him ask.

“Wha’ was ‘at, Kara?” He was already sleepy - a healthy sleepy, too, not drug-induced.

“The body heals faster during natural sleep, Lee. That’ll help you sleep.”

He looked puzzled - she knew it was just that his cognitive function had already started shutting down. “We needa talk ‘bout thisss.”

She bent and kissed him again, gently this time, and whispered against his cheek, “Talking is overrated, Apollo. Sleep now.” Before she’d finished, he was already under.

She showed the next morning before her shift and Dee was already there, talking quietly and holding his hand. Again, she pushed aside her doubts and strode in confidently, bending to kiss him, lips curving when she heard the disgruntled sound from the other side of the bed. She straightened up and said, “Thanks for visiting, Dee. He looks so much better this morning, doesn’t he? I’m sure the Commander will be pleased to hear it.” She stared Dee down until Dee dropped her eyes and stepped toward the opening in the curtain, calling a subdued “Goodbye,” to Lee as she left.

Lee was definitely more alert this morning. “Is there a reason for the way you’re treating Dee?”

“Yep.”

“You going to share that reason?”

“Nope.”

“She lost Billy. She needs a friend, Kara.”

“If you think friendship is what she wants from you, what she ever wanted from you, you’re more insane than I am.”

He opened his mouth to protest, and she shook her head. “No, Lee. She’s got her own friends They’ll take care of her.”

“Maybe I want something more.”

“Not with her.” When it looked like he was going to try to talk some more, she bent and kissed him until he kissed her back. He was breathing hard when she let go with one last sucking kiss. “I’ll be back between CAP and afternoon briefing.”

\---

When she came back in the afternoon, his father was there, so she was completely professional. She hung back as his father left, and said, “I’ll be back after lights out.”

When she came back that evening, he was grumpy - he’d been completely alone except for a couple of visits from either Cottle or nurses since Kara had left. He tried to talk to her, to tell her he didn’t want what she was here for, but she kissed him until he was pliable, and stuck her hand down his pants again. He kept telling himself he needed to stop her, but it was Kara, and there was definitely a bigger voice in his head telling him to just lie back and enjoy the attention. He was asleep almost before she’d cleaned him up. He was only half-aware of her passionless kiss and “Sleep well, Lee. See you in the morning.”

The second full day was much like the first, except that his father wasn’t there in the afternoon. Even so, she didn’t try to kiss him. Seemed to be there only to fulfill an obligation. But she still said, “I’ll be here after lights out.” When he protested, she just hook her head and said again, “I’ll be here tonight.”

He psyched himself all afternoon and evening, but it still didn’t take but a few minutes for him to succumb to the bizarre hold she had over his body.

He woke up on the third morning, and Cottle’s examination was brief. “You’ve made remarkable progress, Captain. There’s no sign of infection, and your vitals are good. We’ll need to discuss some physical therapy to get your range of motion back, but I’m going to release you this afternoon and put you back on full duty. No lifting, and no flight status, but other than that, I think you’re good to go.”

He admitted to himself that maybe Kara’s visits had been beneficial, but he still resented her clinical attitude. Then he wondered if he wasn’t the crazy one, thinking her cold even as she was jacking him off every night. Whether he was crazy or not, he was happy to be gone by lunchtime, so he could avoid her mid-afternoon visit.

\---

He wasn’t in sickbay. The nurse said Cottle had released him before lunch, returning to almost full duty tomorrow morning. Good. It was working. Two and a half days for a gunshot wound and follow-up surgery was excellent. She’d have to step it up to keep his recovery on-target. She hunted him down, and almost laughed when she found the hatch locked. She was the DCAG, effectively, and besides that his friend, so if he thought putting the lock on would keep her out, he had another think coming.

She stepped in and shut the hatch behind her, spinning the wheel. For a moment, he looked happy to see her, then he blanked his expression and waited for her to say something. She was happy to oblige. “You’re not on duty until tomorrow morning, Lee. Get up. I’ve been keeping up with your paperwork. Bed. Read a book or something. Unless you want me to put you to sleep.”

He looked up sharply at that, but got up anyway. He sighed as he walked into his quarters.

“Why don’t you take a nice hot shower, Lee? That’ll relax you. You’ll feel better. Want me to help?”

“For frak’s sake, Kara. I don’t need your help to take a frakkin’ shower.”

“Fine. I’ll be back after my shift.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“Yes, you do. I”ll be here.”

“Kara -” She walked over and kissed him to shut him up.

“I’ll be back. Take a shower.”

\---

Just to piss her off, he’d gone to the rec room to play a couple of hands of Triad. Everybody was stand-offish with him, though they’d said the right things. _Welcome back, Captain._ and _Good to see you up and around, sir._ Then Kara had shown up, but instead of being angry, she’d been gentle yet firm with him.

“Bedtime, Lee. Come on.”

Not a peep out of anyone. Not a smile, not a titter. Not a single question. That wasn’t normal.

He wasn’t going to fight in front of his pilots, but when they got back to his office, he walked through to his quarters and turned. “Okay, Kara. You’ve put me to bed like a child. You can go now.”

She shook her head. “You go back to work tomorrow, Lee. You need your sleep.” She pushed him further into the room and started to undress him. He shook her off.

“For frak’s sake, Kara. I’m a grown man. I can undress myself.”

She stepped back, spread her hands as if in surrender, and waited. He stripped down to his briefs and got into his rack. She sat on the edge of his rack and leaned over to kiss him. He gave a token resistance, but he knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and that, for the moment, she was stronger than he was. So he gave in, kissing her back, and wasn’t even a little surprised to feel her hand touch him through his briefs. She took more time tonight, maybe because she didn’t have to worry about the night medic interrupting her. She stroked and caressed and kept kissing him through it all.

Then she did shock him. She pulled back from the kiss and asked, “You want my hand tonight, Lee, or you want my mouth?”

That image came to brilliant life in his mind, and the noise that escaped him was embarrassing. He laid there, eyes and mouth open, unable to respond.

For the first time in days, she smiled at him. Really smiled. “Guess that’s my answer.” She leaned down and kissed him again, and said, “Hold onto your shorts, Apollo.”

Within minutes, he was crying out: _Kara! Sweet Lords of Kobol! Oh, frakfrakfrakfrak._  She kept going until he came, body jerking, chest heaving. She placed a chaste kiss on the tip of his penis and tucked him back in. She sat up, wiping the corners of her mouth, and moved up to kiss him again. “Sleep well, Apollo.” He never even heard her leave.

\---

Every one of his crew was treating him with kid gloves, except not. They were courteous and respectful, but not friendly. Except for Helo. He was the same laid-back guy he’d always been since he’d come back from Caprica. Lee doubted Kara would tell him if he asked, so he asked Helo. “What the frak is up with everybody, Helo? They’re all acting….I don’t even know what.”

Helo looked at him for a moment, then said, “Kara made it clear that she wouldn’t tolerate anything getting in the way of your recovery. She wants everyone to toe the line completely. No frakking around.”

“What the frak is her problem? A little bit of fun isn’t going to hurt me. And she has been really weird lately, too.”

“You wanna know what I think? Keeping in mind, of course, that it’s just a guess because no one really knows what goes on in that brain of hers.”

Lee nodded.

“I think she can’t forgive herself for shooting you, even though it was an accident, and she’s terrified you won’t either, and she’s making herself fully responsible for your recovery. She broke you, so she has to fix you. And she’s taking her guilt out on everyone else.”

Lee’s mouth opened and closed several times, and finally he just gave up, shaking his head. Some of the things she’d said in sickbay made more sense now, though.

Helo grinned at him. “We are talking about Kara here.”

\---

She didn’t have to find him that night. She went to his office, and he was there, waiting for her. He got up as soon as she closed the hatch behind her, and went through to his quarters. He stripped down for bed, sat down on his rack and watched her.

“What’s the problem, Apollo?”

“What isn’t?” He sat there, shoulders slumped. “My best friend shot me. Now she’s isolating me, and frakking me against my will every night.”

“I’ve apologized for shooting you. And I’m not keeping you from doing anything. I’m just making sure you get to bed at a reasonable hour until you’re back to full strength. And even I were frakking you, which I’m not, it’s definitely not against your will.” She waved her hand toward him, continuing, “Look at you. I haven’t even touched you and you’re half-hard already. You want this.”**

“Kara,” he said tiredly, “this isn’t right.”

She shook her head. She was helping him, even if he couldn’t see it right now. “You’re getting better. Every day, you’re getting better, Lee. Why are you fighting this? Most guys would be thrilled to pieces to be getting a handjob every night.”

He stood up and paced. “Maybe I’d enjoy it, too, if it wasn’t obvious every second that you’re performing some deranged version of physical therapy. Face it, Kara. You don’t want to do this any more than I want you to.”

”Those two things are mutually exclusive to you? If I’m doing this to help you, I can’t possibly be getting anything out of it?”

“Am I wrong?” He didn’t even look at her.

“It doesn’t matter, Lee. You are my responsibility. It’s because of me that you got hurt in the first place. But it’s also because of me that you’re here in your own quarters, recovering so quickly. Now, lie down. You need a good night’s sleep tonight.”

Lee sighed and walked back to his rack, sitting on the edge. Kara moved to push his shoulders down, and he resisted, shaking his head. “No. If you’re going to do this, I want control. I want you on your knees. I want your mouth.”

She stood there looking at him, slightly off-balance, then made herself smile and went to her knees.

She reached for his waistband and his hand on her wrist stopped her. “Kiss me first.”

Her hands went to his shoulders, and she stretched up to meet his lips with hers. He neither resisted nor kissed her back at first. Then she felt his hand on her neck, and he opened his mouth. She kissed him with all the skill at her disposal, stopping only when she could no longer breathe. She pulled back; Lee was breathing heavily, his eyes closed. She gave herself a moment to just look at him, then went for his boxer briefs again. This time he didn’t stop her.

\---

For three or four nights, Kara showed up at about the same time, and depending on how angry he was with her that day, she gave him a hand job or a blow job. Then came a night when she didn’t show up. He waited, sitting in his boxer briefs on his bed for nearly an hour before he acknowledged that she wasn’t going to show up. His body had come to expect release every night, though, so he tried to masturbate, but his shoulder did not cooperate, and between the pain in his arm and his groin, he was in a foul mood when Kara finally rushed in. He dismissed her apologies petulantly, pointing to the floor in front of him.

“Lee…” she trailed off, not bothering to finish her thought, just stripped out of her flight suit and got on her knees. Maybe because he was in a snit, it didn’t work, and Kara stopped. She stood and took off what little she’d been wearing under the flight suit, and started toward him.

“Kara - what the frak!”

“Lee, it isn’t working, so I’ll try something else. Just lie back.”

He watched as she pushed him back, climbed into his rack and straddled him. When he realized she really was going to mount and frak him, he protested again, putting his hand down over his dick.

Kara gave him a look, then said, “You gonna fight me, Lee? ‘Cause that’s what it’ll take. If you can fight me off, make me stop, I’ll stop. But I’m pretty sure that even if you _could_  do that right now, you wouldn’t, because you don’t really want me to stop. You just think you shouldn’t want what I’m giving you.”

He gave in, but refused to prove her right by participating. He closed his eyes, waited to feel her warm body surrounding his cock. He barely suppressed a groan then and didn’t notice at what point he stopped trying. Kara bent lower, her naked breasts against his chest, and not-quite-whispered, “Come on, Lee. I know you want to take your frustration out on me. That’s how I’ll know you’re at a hundred percent. When you can make me feel how angry you are with me.”

She was right in a way, and it made him even more angry. He didn’t want her here if she didn’t want to be here, but he didn’t want her to stop showing up, either. He wanted her, but wanted her to want him, too. He growled at her.

“Mmm. Sexy, Lee.”

He wished she meant that. He tried to push her off, but Kara was stronger than she looked, and his shoulder just wouldn’t take the strain.

“That all the fight you’ve got, Lee?”

He opened his eyes. “Just get it over with Kara. You don’t want to be here. I don’t want you here.” A shadow passed over her face, as if he’d hurt her somehow, but it was gone so quickly he almost doubted he’d seen it. She sat back up, closed her eyes and rode faster. Her hands clutched her thighs - she was holding on so tight he was certain she’d have bruises tomorrow.

A few minutes later, Kara was still riding, and he was no closer to orgasm. “Kara, just give it up. It’s not happening.”

“No. This has to work.”

“It feels good, but it’s just not working.”

She stopped mid-stroke, swiped her hands down her face. He thought he heard her say, “Gods. Can’t even do this right.” Her dismount was graceless, as if she couldn’t get out of his rack fast enough.

He watched her back as she jerked her clothes back on. Without turning to face him, she said, “Sorry. I’ll try again tomorrow.” She was out of the room before he could formulate a response.

\---

When Kara let herself into the CAG’s office at 0500, she was determined to get Lee off. She didn’t know what had happened the night before, but it was a fluke, obviously. She knew she was good in bed, and she knew Lee wanted her, had always wanted her. Maybe he needed more control - he’d seemed to really get something out of ordering her to her knees to blow him. She’d try that later. Right now, she was hoping that catching him half asleep would get better results - his body would respond before his mind kicked in to stop the fun, and she could leave him all relaxed and ready for the day. The only question was, blow him or frak him? She loved both, but it might be easier to make a fast getaway if she were still dressed when he came.

She approached his rack, the low-level perimeter lighting enough for her to navigate the room. She stood and watched him sleep for a few minutes before tracing his cheekbone with her fingers, and rubbing his lower lip with her thumb. His lips pursed in his sleep, kissing her thumb, and she sighed. If she’d met Lee first, so many things could have been different: Zak might still be alive, Lee wouldn’t have been on a date with Dualla on Cloud Nine, and Kara would never have shot him. She shook the thought off - she would have frakked it up some other way. She let herself have one more moment, took the time to kiss him chastely, then climbed into the rack and between his legs.

He was already half-hard with morning wood, and it only took a few seconds to get him fully aroused. She slowly pulled the sheet down and to the side, uncovering him. He hadn’t put his underwear back on after she’d left last night - that would make things much easier. She smoothed her palms up his thighs and onto his abdomen, her thumbs skimming the velvety skin of his cock, then back down. She bent to lick up from the bottom, flicking her tongue at the tip. Lee groaned in his sleep, his hand reaching to take hold of himself.

She took him into her mouth, focusing on the top half where sensation was greatest. The irreverent thought that they hadn’t taught _that_  in sex education flitted through her mind. She continued, enjoying blowing him without him fighting her. He moaned in his sleep, his hips bucked him deeper into her mouth, his hand tangled in her ponytail. She reached up and took the elastic out, shoving it into the waist of her running shorts. She’d let herself have this one thing - his hand felt good in her hair. She sucked harder and faster, wanting to be done before he fully woke up. He moaned louder, and his hand pushed at her head - he wanted himself deeper in her mouth. She went deeper just as he began spurting into her mouth. She took it all, swallowing repeatedly, then wiping the skin of his shriveling cock with the edge of the sheet before pulling it back over him.

She climbed back out and practically ran from his quarters, shutting the hatch as quietly as possible, pulling the hair elastic out of her waistband as she walked down the still-empty corridor.

\---

Lee stretched, trying to ease the stiffness in his shoulder. One hand encountered his boxer-briefs and he remembered the night before. As he was sliding them on and moving toward the head, he realized he wasn’t having to fight his morning hard-on to piss, and as he took himself in hand, he noticed that his skin was still damp. She’d been here this morning. He didn’t understand why Kara was so locked into this form of “therapy,” but he couldn’t deny that he felt damn good this morning - ready to go back to work, probably three or four days sooner than he would have been without her.

He wondered what would happen if he made her talk to him when she showed up tonight. Would she run if he tried to explain that it would work better for him if she didn’t hate him, if she pretended to enjoy it? He snorted. She might, but not before she made him climax. Gods, she was stubborn!

\---

Helo caught up with her on her way to the flight deck for CAP. “Hey, Kara. Missed you at the game last night.”

“Yeah, I had things to do.” _Like fail at frakking the CAG_.

“What could possibly be more important to Starbuck than skinning us all at Triad?”

“I had paperwork, all right?” As soon as she saw the expression on Helo’s face, she regretted snapping at him.

“What’s got your temper riled up? Not getting any?”

“Right. Like Starbuck is ever gonna not get laid.” _Except when it’s Lee. Gods. What the frak was I thinking last night?_

“CAG’s been in a pretty foul mood, too. Maybe you should help each other out.” His grin was open, but there was a gleam in his eyes that hinted at mischief.

Kara laughed, hoping it looked real and not like he’d hit much too close to the truth. “Never gonna happen, Helo. We prefer to kiss each other with our fists.”

“Maybe that’s his problem - can’t throw a punch until his shoulder heals. He can’t fight, can’t whack off, can’t -” He stopped at the stunned looked on Kara’s face. “What? You guys have that in common - frakking or fighting to burn off energy. And he _is_  right-handed.”

“Shut up, Helo. Last thing I need is an image of the CAG wanking stuck in my head.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing. Helo would never let it go if he saw that. He wouldn’t let it go if he figured any of it out. It was one of the things she loved and hated most about him, his persistence. She tramped down the ladder and veered toward her Viper. “Gotta do my preflight checks, Helo.” She didn’t wait for his reply, and hoped desperately that he was less perceptive than usual.

\---

Kara showered after her shift, dressed in sweats and tanks and went to Lee’s quarters. She walked in, shut the hatch, crossed the office and entered the sleeping quarters. She went to her knees, already reaching for his waistband, and Lee’s hand stopped her.

“I can already tell you it isn’t going to work tonight, either, if that’s the way you’re going to do it, Kara.”

Between the extra paperwork, CAPs, and shifts in CIC, plus helping Lee every night, she was tired. She didn’t have the energy to keep pretending with him much longer. Why couldn’t he just like getting blown like any other guy? She sat back on her heels, looking down at her hands. “What do you want me to do different then, Lee?”

“What did you do different this morning?”

She looked up at him, wide-eyed. _I enjoyed the frak out of it_. “You were asleep. You didn’t fight me. You wanted it.”

“That’s it? I was asleep so I couldn’t tell you no? Why are you even doing this, Kara?”

“It’s helping you get better. I need you better.” _Maybe then I can forget that I frakking_  shot _you, Lee_.

“It’s not helping me if I end every night too frustrated and angry to sleep.”

She shook her head. “That was only last night.”

“No. Last night was just the first time your “therapy” didn’t work. I hate what you’re doing.”

Kara hopped to her feet and turned her back before Lee could see anything on her face. “You hate me?”

“Kara. That is _not_  what I said. I said I hate what you’re doing.”

She sniffed and raised a hand to dash away the tears that weren’t there. Couldn’t be there. Starbuck didn’t cry, godsdammit. “Okay. If it’s not working, there’s no point anymore. I’ll leave you alone.” She started for the hatch.

“Kara...dammit, Kara, come back here.”

She managed to get out the hatch and around the corner far enough that he wouldn’t see where she’d gone, cursing herself all the while. Around the next corner, she ran head-first into a male chest.

“Hey, Kara, where you rushing off to?”

 _Helo_. She kept pushing, trying to get past him, But Helo had always been able to hold onto her if he wanted.

“Come on, Kara. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just let me go.” Then she was free, and she kept walking, looking for something, anything, to lose herself in.

\---

Karl had seen Kara coming, seen the tears she’d never admit to, known he was going to have a fight on his hands if he wanted to help her. But while she was telling him it was nothing and pushing him away, he’d caught sight of Lee Adama at the cross-corridor, shirtless, looking like he’d run out of his quarters without thinking about anything but...Kara, from the way he was looking at her.

_So they’re both upset about something. Maybe I can finesse something out of him, figure out how to resolve whatever’s bothering them. Kara’s sure not giving me anything right now._

He opened his arms and let Kara go, then walked down the corridor, heading for the CAG’s quarters. He knocked on the hatch, and Lee answered almost immediately. Maybe he’d been hoping it was Kara. “Agathon.”

“Captain. Got a minute?”

Lee gestured him in.

“What are you and Kara fighting about?”

Lee looked up, a combination of surprise and hurt on his face. “We’re not fighting.”

“Then what _is_  going on? You’ve both been in foul moods lately, and I’m pretty sure I know what Kara’s problem is. So what’s yours?”

“Kara’s my problem. Kara and her ridiculous need to “fix” me so she can feel better about herself.”

Helo laughed.  “You think she’s working on your recovery to feel better about herself? You knew each other before, right? When Zak was alive? How do you not know her at all?”

Lee looked uncomfortable. “She was different then. Happy. I never saw her like this, even right after Zak died.”

Helo looked down for a moment, then nodded. “She changed after Zak died. I didn’t get to see her a lot - we were stuck with phone calls and emails until she came to _Galactica_. The Kara who showed up here wasn’t the same girl I knew at the Academy. She blamed herself for Zak’s death, just like she’s blaming herself for shooting you, even though it was an accident.”

“We’re a pilot short out there because Kara thinks she can do anything. She walked into that lounge with guns at the ready to blast her way out - the Kara Thrace style of negotiating - and I ended up in the crossfire. Frak!” He massaged his shoulder with the heel of his hand.

“So you _do_  blame her. Have you told her?”

“She’s not much for talking right now. She’s got this stupid ‘physical therapy’ scheme that she keeps trying to….” Lee shook his head.

“She’s trying to frak you better?”

Lee’s jaw dropped and he flushed, then looked at Helo.

Helo smiled at him. “I’ve known Kara Thrace a long time. I know her style.”

Lee opened and shut his mouth, twice, before he finally started, “Have you -”

“ _Known_  her? Yeah. Every now and again. Not anymore, but we used to. Is that what the problem is? Kara’s trying to solve this problem with sex and what? You’re not attracted to her? You think she’s still in love with your brother? What?”

“I - do you think she is?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think she was ever in love with him. She was happy with him. I think happiness had been in pretty short supply in her life, and she didn’t have any other name for it than love. If he’d lived, I doubt they would have stayed together. I met your brother a couple of times. Kara’s…” He hesitated.  “There’s things in Kara that’ll never be right. Your brother didn’t see anything she didn’t want him to. He took her at face value and there is so much more to Kara than what’s on the surface.”

“Yeah,” Lee said.

“So she’s trying to fix you the only way she knows how. She can’t fix you by flying, and she thinks the only other thing she has to offer is her body. You’re not attracted to her?”

“That’s...not the problem.”

“Then what the frak is, Apollo?”

“She’s not...it’s a chore. She’s doing it, but she doesn’t want to.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. And Kara’s told me some pretty stupid things, so…”

“Not stupid,” Lee mumbled. “She’s clearly not enjoying it.”

“Look, Apollo. Kara likes sex. A lot. If she’s not getting something out of it, it’s because she thinks she shouldn’t. And if you’re letting her get away with that, then you’re not...you don’t deserve what she’s trying to give you. In her very weird Kara Thrace way, she’s saying that you’re important to her, that she needs you on her six, in and out of the cockpit.” Helo heaved himself up and started for the door. “Think about it. Or don’t. I got CAP in a couple of hours.”

\---

After Helo left, Lee wondered whether or not his brother had known Kara half as well as he’d thought, and whether _he’d_  known Kara half as well as he’d thought. _Maybe Helo’s right. Kara’s words from earlier came back to him_. “I’m helping you get better. I need you better.” _Maybe she needs me to need her, too. Maybe I should come up with a way that she_  has _to enjoy it_. He picked up the phone.

\---

“Captain Adama, sir?”

Lee looked up from the file on his desk. It was weeks-old schedules - scrap paper - but Kara didn’t need to know that. He gestured to the chair, waited until she took a seat. “I’ve decided you’re right. Your physical therapy is helping. I’m certainly recovering faster than Cottle expected.” He watched as she sat forward, eyes intent on him. “However, your therapy plan is incomplete as-is.”

“Sir?” She wasn’t catching his drift yet. Good.

“You’ve been focused entirely on making sure I sleep well every night, and that’s good, as far as it goes. But I believe, as a pilot, I need to work on manual dexterity and stamina. You can help with that.”

“I can?” She still wasn’t getting it.

Lee smiled. “If you’ll come with me, I’ll explain what I mean.”

Kara tilted her head and gave him a puzzled look, but got up and walked into his quarters.

He sat on the edge of the rack and reached out for her hand to pull her closer. He watched her face as he told her, “A viper pilot spends hours in the cockpit, and he needs a firm grip, as well as flexibility in his digits. Can you help me with that, or not?”

Kara looked at him solemnly, then her face lightened infinitesimally. “I believe, Captain, that I am exactly the person who can help you with that. No one more qualified on this ship.”

“Good. Shall we get to work?”

“Let me just dog the hatch. Don’t want your therapy interrupted.”

“No. We don’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> **In the real world, arousal/orgasm neither imply nor constitute consent, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Both are bodily functions mostly outside our conscious control.


End file.
